Wow....

Has it been THAT long?

You must forgive me though, because it was in fact my computer's fault that we haven't spoken in so long. The stupid power chord busted, and you have NO idea how difficult it is to get a new power chord for an old piece of shit laptop.

Since my last post, I've invested in a home brew kit. Yes! That's right! Homebrew..... I did this for two reasons. 1) Because I have a drinking problem, and 2) Because I like to solve my problems the CHEAP way....

So far, both of the batches I have made have been absolutely disgusting. I figure by the time I've made ONE good batch, I would have spent enough money to buy 3 cartons of coronas and 20 kilos of fresh lime.... But then again, it's not REALLY about the money is it? It's about the art. It's about knowing that you've hand-crafted the knife that kills you. It's about having friends over at the end of a big night, when you're all wishing that bottleshops were still open, when I come - cape slung over my shoulder - and announce, "Never fear! For I have some homebrew...!" To which everyone cheers, and downs bottle after bottle while generously complimenting its fine taste - telling me that it's "actually not that bad..." - when really everyone's just so wasted that a fermented penguin-jizz milkshake could taste like a Tooheys....

Am I really seeking such validation??

Well.... at least I'm doing it the cheap way....!

I have also joined a Tennis club because it was the last link in the chain of progression. I love watching tennis. I go to the video arcade every day and play the tennis video game. I play it on the Wii at home, and now it's come time to venture into the "Real World"....!

My first training session was on Saturday morning at 11am, which I gotta tell you, is a BIT too early for my liking.... BUT I perservered, and arrived, fresh-faced and wrists ready for some sweet, sweet, Nadal-like topspin.

I tried way, WAY too hard.... Which anyone who knows me will tell you is not unlike me... but this was embarassingly so (although I guess anyone who knows me will tell you that it's usually embarassingly so.... sometimes pathetically so...). I haven't played a game of tennis in years, yet I thought that I'd be able to pick up the racquet and start slapping down-the-line-forehands past the young girl who was simply playing for a little bit of fun.This of course was not the case, and I ended up looking like quite a wanker....

But damn was it fun! I assume from this point, I will be on the ATP tour in a few fortnights... that's if I don't have any gigs.

I shall be in Brisbane soon. Doing the casino's, and LiveWired, so keep your eyes out and come along for some hilarity (hilarity = all the same fucking jokes).

Have fun ya'll.

Peace.

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For the fantastic few that look at this site, I beg you to check out the poster for Kings of the WaterCooler - Myself and Bart Freebairns debut comedy festival show! The link to the poster is below:

WaterCoolerKings.com

I leave for Adelaide on Sunday, where I shall reside for two weeks while we do the show for the Fringe Festival, and then it's on to Melbourne for a month.

In other news, myself and the team at 20 O'Connor st received a loving letter from some neighbours....

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I recently had the "fortune" of going to Miami to audition for NBC's Last Comic Standing 6.

While I was completely expecting a fun trip, accompanied by the soul-destroying tolls of reality TV, what I didn't expect, was my housemate, and good friend, Gizmo, to sneak into my bag in the middle of the night, and come along for the ride.

Below is a personal photo-diary maintained by Gizmo for his trip. Sadly, Gizmo likes to talk in third person....

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GIZMO DOES MIAMI

Fed up with getting no Mogwi-love in Sydney, and needing a break from his addictive partying lifestyle, Gizmo decided to grab his bags and set out to get some sweet, sweet American poon-tang.

He headed to the airport to say one last goodbye to Nick Sun. Gizmo says goodbye like most normal people, by simply waving and saying "bye", but Nick Sun had a different 'goodbye' in mind, taking it as one last chance to finger-pump Gizzy's crotch, while yelling "That's for making Gremlins 2, fool!"

Gizmo replied, saying "let's just be friends..." before setting off to the International Terminal....

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The Download section is up and running, so check out all of my D/L 'able Goodness!!

WOO!!

I still really want a Wii. Sometimes I wake up holding a tennis racquet because I want to play so much. I like Wii Tennis because

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NEW WEBSITE -- WOO!!

It's finally here, ladies and gentlemen -- Brace yo'self! It's ALL still in the beta stages though, so PLEASE bare with me. First of all, I'd like to thank Mr. Olly Lindemann for doing such a bang-up job on the design, graphics and layout. You're a champ, dude!

Now.... do I actually have any "news"??

Well, Bart and I will be performing our Melbourne Comedy Festival show at....

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I REALLY NEEDTO CHANGE MY PICTURE: Seriously.... I'm well aware of how old and ridiculous that picture up above is. Only problem is -- I don't know how to change it! I took a course in web design at Uni, and now I can't remember a damn thing about it!
Oh well - The main focus of this blog is to notify you ALL that I'm in plans to do a show at the Adelaide Fringe Festival, and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with Bart Freebairn next year.
WOO!!
We are going to rip the shit outta those towns......

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